THIS BLOG, ApneasBlog.com, IS INTENTED SOLELY FOR ADULTS! IF YOU ARE UNDER 18 (21 IN SOME STATES) OR ARE NOT ALLOWED TO VIEW NAKED PICTURES, EROTICA, FETISH NAUGHTINESS, ETC., THEN GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!
And, if you like what you see here and you want to access all of my uncensored photos and videos, head on over to Apneatic.com!
XOXO, Apnea
I don't know how many of you know this, but Houston is still pretty awful right now. My correspondent there is on the brink of insanity and has been sending me text messages that don't make much sense. He lives alone with his cat.
Friend : what you up to? i can picture myself going nuts if this power problem goes on much longer.
me : still? what do you do all day?
Friend : I can't even jerk off, the water might be contaminated
me : hahaha! what do you do for food?
Friend : Cat food
me : Serious!
Friend : The cat is pretty understanding. not at first but he gets it, everyone sacrifices.
Friend : Tha fish ain't half bad. Tha liver s for tha dawgs. Plus the fish is a urinary tract formula, so hooyay for that
me : are you drunk?
Friend : No. gotta ration the water
me : i'm serious what do you do all day!
Friend : Though if i was i probably wouldn't be so ashamed of stealing the cat's food. the tears make the food soggy.
me : so you sit in the dark all night?
Friend : Yea, with the kitchen knives.
Friend : It really isn't that bad, I just found out thirty minutes ago that I don't have hot water anymore
me : hahahahah! I'm LaUgHiNg OuT LoUd
Friend : Out of all the shit i ve talked, the fact that i'm outta hot water's got you in stitches. That gotta be cold!
Friend : I'll be sure to shout at you if i stub my toe and can't seem to stop the bleeding
Chase is burning these candles about a foot away from my face and they smell so terrible. I think these candles are why he's bummed out. They're making me want to kill myself. I didn't even know such a foul scent could be harnessed by wax like this, and then some sick person had no problem selling these to people. And then Chase buys them. And burns them. And he doesn't even like them either. We had a conversation about this the other night, about how gross they are.
me : I'm still laughing!...are you alone in the dark right now?
Friend : Because i cant even see my dick in the daytime to take a piss
"I have pushed F12 so many times the F and the number 12 are barely readable, of course I pushed F12." - Chase, right now sitting next to me on his computer talking to his friend on the phone
Another text message...
Friend : That is, without a flashlight shoved in my mouth. That's both metaphoric and literal.
Chase goes on...
"It's just a big dumb bullshit slot. I don't even know if there's a cd in there." -Chase, still on the phone, sitting next to me.
I'm surrounded by other people's tragedy and I can't stop laughing.
"What am I supposed to expect, the porno movie and the hard drive both have Japanese names, how can i tell the difference with this bullshit? I don't know what's the fucks up with my god damn hard drive. I'm having the times." - Chase
me : so you take cold dirty watered showers?
Friend : No showers. Balls just gotta smell for now. Better to have dirty balls than polluted, wouldn't you say? Progeny and shit.
Me :
Friend : new tat?
me : You deserve all of your misery.
me : :-D
"Why does he need water to jerk off?" - Chase
The insanity won't stop but I have to stop writing about it because this is getting to long.
BAI
[ add comment ] ( 82 views ) | permalink
My obsession with Eli Porter is out of control...he deeed it.
Calendar