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XOXO, Apnea
My first wake up call came around 8:45am reminding me that my brother in law was going to be picking up some of my furniture at 10am. I assured my sister I had my alarm set then went back to sleep. Either that happened, or Ursulla woke me up around that time and I told her the same thing. It's hard to remember. Anyways, I woke up on time.
The rest of my day was spent with non-internet people that if I talk about you would have no idea what I was saying. And I would have to spend a really long time writing paragraphs to catch you up on the non-internet people's stories. Then this would become as ridiculous to read as it is now.
I bought a new book today. Everybody keeps saying I need to read Bukowski so my friend Jordan told me to read Hollywood. I have to finish Tortilla Flat first. But first I have to work. But before that, I have to write this blog.
I had so much stuff on my planner for today and I crossed out almost everything but two really small things that I can easily do tomorrow if I ever decide to sleep again.
Greg Truelove sent some photos of me in my super fast outfit from Liberator.
The night before we made our own skirt out of cellophane and tule then went out to this warehouse that had burned down a few months back. There was one little piece left standing and Greg made a joke about burning that down too, but we never did it. I just rolled around in ashes. Not nearly as cool. But the pictures turned out lovely.
That poor skirt was never destined to last longer than three hours after it's creation.
Adieu.
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I stayed up for over 24 hours then finally went to bed around 11:30am today. I'm guessing my body went into some state of shock from finally being back in front of my computer and I couldn't pry myself away from it for longer than an hour at a time. Then I think I fell asleep mid-sentence with Ursulla because I remember having a conversation with her then waking up four hours later laying on the couch fully dressed, glasses still on, and nobody was here.
From then to 10:30pm was just me moving really slowly around the apartment, falling asleep for an hour at a time, trying to watch the Olympics for 20 minutes and getting bored, trying to make food but getting bored with it, trying to read but I would have to read the same page over and over until I gave up, fall asleep, check my email...no email...check it again twenty minutes later...one or two would come through...lay on the couch and stare at the ceiling...talk on the phone but couldn't find anything to talk about. Which is strange because I'm full of stories. I can't think about the past or the future right now. The next seven days are going to be hell, but I can handle it. It will be worth it.
Sometimes I still can't comprehend how different my life is now then it was three months ago.
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Kencredible scanned a copy of Marquis to show me my little feature thing :)
I'm back home now. I had such a good time in Atlanta. I can't wait to go visit there once I get to Savannah. Greg Truelove and I work really well together and I look forward to posting the sets on here that he shot so you can see what I'm talking about.
The night before I left Baltimore Chase shot me in some Kid Acne Knitwear.
I know, it's the most clothes you'll probably ever see me in.
My sister left me a comment on that last photo on Myspace :
"You look so sweet and beautiful! It really looks like the real you!"
That's the first time she's ever said that about any of my images in five years. I've made an art out of disguising myself and Chase was still able to break through the 'apnea' thing and shoot a real photo of me. He's my favorite person to work with and I consider him more of a painter with light than a photographer. Working with him is so much different than anyone else I've ever shot with. I don't even pose much, I just hold what he asks me to hold then he dances around me with his lights until he gets the shot he has in his head. It's refreshing to work with somebody that knows what they want instead of taking a thousand shots and hoping one comes out well. When I say this I don't want to discredit the other amazing photographers I've worked with, I just wanted to express my gratitude for the gifts he's given me and the experiences I've had in the last couple of months with him. Unfortunately he doesn't have nearly as much credit as he should have. It's disgusting how many high profile people have ripped him off but he's such a modest person that he will never publicly harass anybody that steals his original ideas, he has no 'wall of shame', he just keeps going about his business making his art and being a good person. I'll be happy to see him again.
The longer I sit at my computer the more I reflect on the last six or seven weeks. This was the best summer of my life and I'm ready to buckle down now and get to business. It's business...it's business time.
Thats what you're tryin to say, you're tryin to say lets get down to business it's business time!
I'm really happy to see my Houston people too. And I'm totally ready to leave this place and my real friends support me.
Speaking of artists...Alex Rodriguez
drew another picture of me after we got together in Portland. He's another really amazing person that I talk about on my blog a lot.
From Illusions...
"If you really want to remove a cloud from your life, you do not make a big production of it, you just relax and remove it from your thinking..."
"Live never to be ashamed if anything you do or say is published around the world - even if what is published is not true."
My roommates are asleep and I can't sleep because I'm so excited to be at my computer. I've already got ten windows open and Photoshop is open and I'm on AIM and I have my headphones on and I'm texting and I'm back in my multi-tasking workaholic mode. So I'll close this now and write more tomorrow and update with some of Greg's photos from Atlanta. C-YA.
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