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XOXO, Apnea
-photo by Greg Truelove- -set going live this month!-
Today has been so strange.
1. A black cat crossed our path. Not a big deal.
2. Rape Chicken ate a live snake, so now she is Metal Chicken because she eats live snakes and gets effed a lot and she's really ugly, so she's earned her new name.
3. Chase and I seriously considered moving out to Nauvoo, IL. If you're Mormon you've probably made a pilgrimage out there to see where Joseph Smith was lynched. Half of the buildings in the town are fake businesses and there are no real business open after 8pm, no cars, and no people except in front of the "Cultural Hall" (by cultural they mean cult) huddling around a guy in a wizard cape. We'll never move there.
4. On the drive back, we had to stop the car while a giant deer danced in front of the car. It was either dancing or having a seizure. Then it stopped, looked at us, and jumped over the bridge. I texted Chacha to see if this was an omen, but they said no. I think they lie to me.
5. The moon went from totally bright, to red, to gone. What? Was there supposed to be a lunar eclipse tonight?
Chase just rubbed lotion in my hair and in my sock, gross. I'm going to wake up before him tomorrow and put chickens in his car then sneak back in the house and ask him to go get me something then he'll be totally freaked out and I'll say "that's for the lotion"...
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There were some intense moments today on the farm.
Scott Harrison the speckled sussex joined the roost today. We think she's the smartest chicken here and hope she doesn't become isolated for being so awesome.
A chicken hawk swooped down earlier and try to grab a hen but got his ass kicked, or pecked I should say, until he gave up like a bitch and flew away.
We filled up a glass jar with fireworks and tried to light one, drop it in and watch them all go off, but that didn't work out at all. Since that didn't work we ended up throwing them all in a metal barrel outside in the yard and filled it up with heating oil, powder coffee creamer, rubbing alcohol, lots of paper, then set it on fire with a propane torch. Don't worry, we had a fire extinguisher.
I don't know how I went from wanting to move to a big city to wanting my own farm. Which country has the best farms? What about France or Portugal?
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I am Batnea. Spiders like to bite me because they know how dark I am, and they're into that. Halloween is the most important day of the year. I'll take my magic broom and sweep towards your shoes and make you uncomfortable to stand next to me. My cauldron is real. Wands. Wizards. Warlocks. Witches. W is the most important letter on Halloween. I wear a cloak. Batnea.
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