THIS BLOG, ApneasBlog.com, IS INTENTED SOLELY FOR ADULTS! IF YOU ARE UNDER 18 (21 IN SOME STATES) OR ARE NOT ALLOWED TO VIEW NAKED PICTURES, EROTICA, FETISH NAUGHTINESS, ETC., THEN GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!
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XOXO, Apnea
There were some intense moments today on the farm.
Scott Harrison the speckled sussex joined the roost today. We think she's the smartest chicken here and hope she doesn't become isolated for being so awesome.
A chicken hawk swooped down earlier and try to grab a hen but got his ass kicked, or pecked I should say, until he gave up like a bitch and flew away.
We filled up a glass jar with fireworks and tried to light one, drop it in and watch them all go off, but that didn't work out at all. Since that didn't work we ended up throwing them all in a metal barrel outside in the yard and filled it up with heating oil, powder coffee creamer, rubbing alcohol, lots of paper, then set it on fire with a propane torch. Don't worry, we had a fire extinguisher.
I don't know how I went from wanting to move to a big city to wanting my own farm. Which country has the best farms? What about France or Portugal?
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I am Batnea. Spiders like to bite me because they know how dark I am, and they're into that. Halloween is the most important day of the year. I'll take my magic broom and sweep towards your shoes and make you uncomfortable to stand next to me. My cauldron is real. Wands. Wizards. Warlocks. Witches. W is the most important letter on Halloween. I wear a cloak. Batnea.
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My roommates
I dropped my phone in the grass yesterday morning chasing them and didn't find it until earlier today.
Chase told me I look like a duck when I run.
Remember these five rules always (according to a really terrible video game called Black)
1. GUNS ARE THE STARS.
2. EVERY BULLET IS YOUR BABY.
3. BIGGER GUNS, LOUDER EXPLOSIONS.
4. LEAVE A TRAIL OF DESTRUCTION.
5. GET CREATIVE WITH YOUR KILLS.
Heh
I'm kinda nervous with my blog getting more attention! The pressure's on now. I gotta admit, some of my blog entries were so lame, especially in the beginning when I wasn't a pro-blogger like I am now. (not)
I like the bright pink everywhere. It's like the Tiger Beat blog of alt-porn. It makes me want to spoon with Steen.
Is this awful? I actually thought Don't Mess with the Zohan was a really funny movie. The first fifteen minutes or so I was laughing so hard I could hardly breathe. When he high-fives the bird, oh man...that was so funny.
Did anyone see Chase on Cash Cab today with Mike Gill? I can't wait to see it =D Someone Youtube it!
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