THE RULES 
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XOXO, Apnea
Farm Girl 


October or November? I don't remember.

But if you go to Apneatic.com you can see the set.




Thank you Hannah :D

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Ooh La La 
I'm a little disattached from reality again today. It's like I was telling my friend, since I can remember I've always been a night person and most nights I won't go to bed until I see the sun come up. But now I sleep next to an open window and the birds are so loud it's like God is telling me to wake up when I'm just trying to sleep. I think that and some other little things are making my brain misfire and I'm starting to get dreams and reality confused. My dreams are so boring now. It's basically a run-down of the day with small variations so now my memory is a joke on myself. And right now there's only two songs I can listen to that don't give me anxiety.

Other than that I had some creative breakthroughs and I feel a lot better than I felt earlier.

So much



has changed



in three years.

My roommate's boyfriend is getting two peacocks. One of them has one leg and Chase and him were joking about putting a prosthetic on it with a pointy stick that could pick up trash while it walked around his property and it could defend itself against the gay death raper turkey.

That's my new happy place for the next month. A beautiful field of flowers and big trees and a peg leg peacock fighting that turkey.

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Soliliquy by Renee Masoomian 


photo by Kencredible
wardrobe by Soliloquy by Renee Masoomian

Choy wouldn't stop barking the other day while we were sleeping so Chase got out of bed and opened up the front door and left it open all afternoon.

When I got out of bed and brushed my teeth I stumbled out of the bathroom and into the living room and four of the chickens had walked into the living room and were standing there staring at me. I thought it was really cute and laughed and left them there while I worked.

I walked out of the office an hour later and there were six of them in the house and a seventh one making it's way in. Chase and I looked at it and talked about how cute it was that they were all just standing there making chicken noises but it was time to get them out of the house. They slowly walked out except for the oldest rooster Wolfgang, who is really cocky (I guess that's where the word comes from) and did this whole walking out thing like it was his decision and not ours. But one of the hens ran and jumped behind the plants and into a window. We couldn't figure out how to get it out with a stick so Chase finally stuck his hands behind the plants and grabbed her but she freaked out and knocked the plants over, shattered a ceramic pot, then flew back into the window. Eventually we did this group effort thing and got the screen out and she went out that way. So that was crazy.

Chase and I have been on a movie marathon while he logs his tapes. Sometimes we rent movies that look so bad that they might be good but sometimes they're just really awful. We picked up a movie with Sinbad in it called First Kid and that movie was so horrible we turned it off after the kid got punched in the face. There was one part though where he was in the chat room and the guy wrote "LOL (laughing out loud)" and I actually laughed at that. The people at the video store probably think we're crazy.

That picture is from a shoot I did after the gallery show in Philadelphia. Ken and I had been planning to shoot then he told me he was shooting some stuff for a latex company and asked me if I would model an outfit for them. I said yes and asked him if they knew about my chest and he said, "No but I didn't know about it either." Yikes. That shoot was really terrifying because before that it had been 9 months since I did anything in a studio and I thought I forgot how to do it. Dave Dawson helped me a lot though and told me it would be like riding a bike and he made me feel a lot better. Dave and Matt. And Asphyxia. I love all of them so much <3 They helped me a lot that day.

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