THIS BLOG, ApneasBlog.com, IS INTENTED SOLELY FOR ADULTS! IF YOU ARE UNDER 18 (21 IN SOME STATES) OR ARE NOT ALLOWED TO VIEW NAKED PICTURES, EROTICA, FETISH NAUGHTINESS, ETC., THEN GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!
And, if you like what you see here and you want to access all of my uncensored photos and videos, head on over to Apneatic.com!
XOXO, Apnea
Remember in Jack Frost when Michael Keaton died and then somehow turned into a snowman a year later and looked around at his one-dimensional plywood house covered in fake snow and said, "I'm back!" Well I'm back home too. And for the record I hate that fucking movie. I hate that movie so much it makes me say bad words and then I sound trashy. Chase and I only watched it because the trailer was so ridiculous and I heard a really funny story about it at a New Year's Party one night. Probably the only New Years party where I wasn't the one throwing up in the street.
Why is the nearest airport three hours away? oh ya because I live in a corn field. I really love living here though. And I'm glad to be home.
I had so much fun in San Francisco. And getting my sleeve lasered wasn't nearly as painful as I thought it would be. Except for the part where I didn't put Emla in my armpit and then the nice man lasered the starfish out of it. I didn't like that part.
Guess what?????????????????????????????????
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
???????????????????????????????????????????
You know my fake girlfriend Asphyxia, right? The one with the perfect ass that I'm obsessed with?
Dear God, you have to go to Zivity and look at her set. And if you want to see the whole rated more-than-R set you gotta sign up for Supercult, which you should do anyways because he makes the best videos. Remember my underwater video? He has videos like that on his site but the girls are way more naked and sticking things in happy places. Not drowning underwater like I was.
Ok I know it's in poor taste to talk about my boyfriend but I'm really tired and he's really soft and feels nice to cuddle with so I'm going to go to bed with him. While I'm off being tired and cuddling with my foxy super soft boyfriend you can look at his new Zivity set and admire his mad skills and admire my fake girlfriend's perfect body and awesome posing. I'm so tired.
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I know it's a couple days early, but I might not be able to make it back to my blog by the 14th to tell you that I love all of you.
Philip and I used to wait until the last minute to shoot holiday sets. These were the Valentine's day photos that were supposed to go up last year but never did. But it worked out because now I have it for this year. :D
And on Apneatic.com they're over twice this size!
While Chase has been going through Mountain Dew withdrawals I've been helping him write his blog at Nerve. I'm scared to go re-read them, just like I'm scared to see the movies I'm in. Is it okay to never watch your own movies? Because there's no way I will. I'm a big scaredy cat.
Hardcore cats.
I love you.
a
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What's up dog?
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When Chase and I were living in Savannah we were so excited to shoot a video in the pool. But we didn't know anything about shooting underwater so trying to figure it out was interesting.
First we drove to Target and bought some Maglites, freezer bags, a snorkel, duct tape and nylon rope. I'm sure we looked really suspicious when we were checking out.
Later that night it was time for me to get ready. I didn't have the first clue about how to apply makeup for going underwater, so I applied three times as much and my skin felt like it was going to scream.
Then I walked out to the pool to meet Chase. It's 3am, the neighbors are asleep, it's freezing outside, and I see him throwing a cinder block into the pool with a rope tied around it. I remember thinking that looked really unsafe, but it was also really funny.
We got in the pool and I was so cold and shivering so hard the only words that could come out of my mouth was a string of obscenities. Luckily Chase was tied to a huge piece of concrete at the deep end of a pool so he didn't have to see it. Then when it was time to shoot I couldn't stay underwater. My dress was so heavy and buoyant. It felt like I was connected to a parachute. . But the dress came off! And we taped enough to get what we needed.
So after typing all of that I should let you know that only half of this was taped in the pool. The other half was taped in a very dry, climate controlled environment.
This is the censored version! Full version coming soon to SUPERCULT.COM and APNEATIC.COM!
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I finally had a chance to see the Bizarre Girls magazine. The photos of me turned out lovely in print! But I can't say the same about the text.
I need to clear something up with everyone, because this is a common misconception.
I have never been married. I was never even common law married because Philip Warner and I didn't share the same address.
I am also not from Georgia.
And I no longer like thong-back leotards. That was January 2008. This is January 2024. But that was my fault because I totally let my 'about me' page go way too long without being updated.
I also no longer like sunshine. I am sooooooooooo goth. :D Kidding of course! Who doesn't love sunshine? Just because I never see it doesn't mean I don't love it.
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