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XOXO, Apnea
Philip and I had a nice lunch today at a small cafe around our neighborhood. As we were sipping on iced coffee and talking about business, a gnat flew towards my face and into my eye. It flew into my eye and then got stuck in my eye, and died in my inner eyelid. I'm not making this up. I had to hold my eye open while Philip picked out it's bastard corpse with a napkin. Oh well.
I stole this from Jade. It's meeee!
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I'm home from Boston!
On our final descent into Houston as we were falling into the clouds my face was glued to the window watching everything happening. Maybe it was brought on by extreme boredom but I've never been so fascinated by clouds in my life. I was so excited about it that I started wondering about the history of clouds. Or not so much the history of clouds, more like the history of human interaction with clouds. We used to think the earth was flat, then round, now it's slightly shaped like a pumpkin,
so was there a time when we thought clouds were solid? I know I did when I was a kid. I was devastated on the plane ride to Disneyland when we started going through the clouds on the airplane. I don't remember too much because I was so young but it was almost as heartbreaking as finding out there was no Santa Claus. All of my cartoons had been deceiving me, all of my wild fantasies about riding a big balloon into the sky and sitting on a cloud...all gone.
I used to go to the ice cream shop and get a huge cone of sweet cream with gummi bears. Then I would pretend like the bears were caught in an avalanche of snow, and depending on my mood I would either be saving the bears from the snow or I was a mythological creature scooping for my breakfast like a huge cat and eating the bears and in my head I would make them scream as I chewed on them.
One time I wanted to punish my Barbie doll so I strapped her naked body to the wheel of an exercise bike and started pedaling really fast so her face would be worn off. Then the metal elephant that I played with helped me chop her head off so she could be sacrificed for the corn harvest. Then I would spend an hour digging a really deep hole in the yard and I buried her head with popcorn kernels. Then I just started digging holes. My love of digging holes in my backyard would interfere with my schoolwork sometimes. All I wanted to do was go home and start digging. I grew up in the country so we had an acre of land for me to dig lots of deep holes. Eventually I got bored with that and just played with Legos. Then I learned how to abuse prescription medicine. And it all snowballed from there.
Last night I spoke in front of an audience for a long time and I loved it so much. I was so nervous the entire day leading up to the event but once again
I've discovered that the reality was not as frightening as the idea of it. I would like to continue to do it. There's lots of new things I would like to do but I must finish my work in front of me before I begin new projects! So that's where I'll be focusing my attention....starting Monday. Tomorrow I have to fix my hair and add new pictures to my skin.
Goodnite :)
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Philip is shooting Felicia right now...and I'm having small panic attacks all day about speaking in front of a crowd tonight. I haven't really been nervous at all until just now. Matt took me to get a cup of iced coffee the size of my head. I don't ever drink coffee, so this should hit me pretty hard. Okay, I'm excited again. Sometimes, especially after a strong cup of mate, I can't shut up.
Oh look! Some Valium. Yes, I'll have that now thank you.
I keep thinking of Jules in Pulp Fiction screaming, "Bitch, be cool!" ya. Just a few hours now! I wish I had someone filming it so I could show it afterwards. I'll do that next time.
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