THIS BLOG, ApneasBlog.com, IS INTENTED SOLELY FOR ADULTS! IF YOU ARE UNDER 18 (21 IN SOME STATES) OR ARE NOT ALLOWED TO VIEW NAKED PICTURES, EROTICA, FETISH NAUGHTINESS, ETC., THEN GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!
And, if you like what you see here and you want to access all of my uncensored photos and videos, head on over to Apneatic.com!
XOXO, Apnea
I only fell out of one world and fell into another where I'm much more content, and I did it by choice, not because I had no other options left.
And you wouldn't shoot either if you had an entire three quarter sleeve and armpit tattoo being lasered off.
I'm starting to learn that people don't even look at what's scribbled on me. People just see a lot of black stuff on my arm and say,
"Nice ink!"
"I'm getting it lasered off."
"Why?"
"Are you serious? Look at it."
...."Oh. Is that why it looks like that?"
"Yes."
I've learned that "Nice ink/tatz/whatever" is the equivalent of someone saying, "I acknowledge you have tattoos."
That's not the point.
The point is I can't keep hiding anymore as much as I want to hide. And it's taking a lot of restraint to call out some of the people I'd love to call out for giving me shit about disappearing.
I had two choices to make. I could continue to put out half-ass work as frequently as I was doing right after I broke up with Philip Warner or I could wait as long as possible and then come out with better and higher quality work.
But I have a site, and I've been scared to even look at it, but I can't keep avoiding it and I'm on a cross-country trip now collecting content. When I get home I'll have 15 updates ready for the next few months and I can sit around waiting some more.
I fucked up so bad last year when I did this to myself. I've turned down so many jobs it makes my stomach sick to think about it. So I don't think about it...
But slamming vodka and eating pills and fucking up really bad one day last year with one of my really good friends at the time and asking him to tattoo this shit on my arm doesn't mean I'm bad at business, it means I'm compulsive and I do really stupid stuff but I'm fixing it now.
I have my last laser appointment on the 13th and then in a year it's getting fixed.
Then everyone saying mean things about me disappearing can go fuck themselves <3 I'm sure you'll still be doing the same thing you're doing now, because it's the same thing you were doing last year and the same thing you'll be doing in a year.
xoxo
apnea
[ 1 comment ] ( 1042 views ) | permalink
I've been doing non-stop tutorials and working in new programs to figure out how to build websites...I feel funny talking about it because people that know how to really build them will laugh at me because I'm just starting and my first few sites are going to be less than great...I actually really like the first site I helped build. Chase sits next to me and he has a lot of experience so he helps out. I'm excited at how fast I'm learning!
We're leaving for a road adventure sometime at the end of next week :) I love summer road trips! And I'm going to some cities I haven't been to in over a year. :D
We woke up really early and went to the bird show this morning. We bought two new Bantem hens and three others for Katie...one of them is a Cochin and it's the cutest hen I've ever seen in my life. It has little feather boots and when she runs she looks like a little wind up toy and she's so sweet! She let me walk right up to her in the yard and pick her up.
Back to my work :) xoxo
[ add comment ] ( 402 views ) | permalink
When I woke up the other morning and opened my eyes one of the dogs was sitting ten inches away from my face at eye level just staring at me. I don't know how long he was there but it was really startling and it made me yell and then I scared Chase awake. It was like a little domino effect. I wonder if Enzo was really trying to wake up Chase but had to use me to get to him because he knows he can't jump on the bed.
I love Creep Street!
I also love fresh cut grass, fireflies and bubblegum.
I love squirrels too. It's one of the things I liked about Houston. When I went to UH they had an overpopulation of squirrels and they were so tame that one always seemed to walk up to me while I was sitting outside eating lunch and keep me company.
Follow the directions of the big colorful flashing gif to see more of thissssss
My favorite Merkley pic :)
click to view full size
If you're in Portland please go support one of my favorite people in the entire world.
I opened up my computer to dust it out and I found a spider living in it. Chase said, "It must be spinning the world wide web."
-lol-
It's raining again. It rains every night. I live on Rain Planet.
//////////////////////////////////////////
/////////////////////////////////////////
/////////////////////////////////////////
__________________________________________
Do you like my picture I just made for you? It's rain falling on Iowa.
[ 1 comment ] ( 199 views ) | permalink
Calendar