THIS BLOG, ApneasBlog.com, IS INTENTED SOLELY FOR ADULTS! IF YOU ARE UNDER 18 (21 IN SOME STATES) OR ARE NOT ALLOWED TO VIEW NAKED PICTURES, EROTICA, FETISH NAUGHTINESS, ETC., THEN GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!
And, if you like what you see here and you want to access all of my uncensored photos and videos, head on over to Apneatic.com!
XOXO, Apnea
Some days I sleep for 12 hours and have no motivation to get out of bed and work on the things I need to do.
I just want to sleep in the nest I've kicked into creation on top of our bed and bury my head in the pillows. It's not all peaches and punch having chemical imbalances. The highs sure are high though.
That's me disinterested and half in the dark. I got tired of trying to get a good photo of myself so I ended up sitting there and clicking the button a good dozen times without doing anything.
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It's been almost a week since I updated? I thought I wrote an entry two days ago! Time has always been like that for me. An entire week will go by and it will feel like nothing, but then a year will pass and I'll think back and it will seem like it happened so long ago.
Chase has been sick and I've been doing my best to take care of him these last couple of days. It's strange going into town by myself now. When Chase is there it takes the heat off of me but now I'm the one being stared at like an alien, or a piece of meat to all of the "rape eyes" from some of these people.
My brain feels soft and I'm in a weird emotion between depression and complacency. It's like some kind of emotional equinox.
One thing I'm learning to get the hang of is feeling okay with nothing going on. It's okay to not know, just enjoy the time I'm waiting for the next thing to happen. It comes without warning anyways so there's nothing to look for. It's ok to sleep 11 hours a night and wake up to the normal everyday work I do. Maybe one day I'll drink tea instead of coffee. I'll be daring and put sugar on my cereal.
I'm connecting with my grandmother that I've never known. I was told she's schizophrenic but I think she's just brutally honest. I think I've finally lost both of my parents too. My sister told me my mom is preaching about God to her now and that's always the sign I've lost another relative. So that means I'm down to my sister and my grandmother, who until a week ago didn't know my middle name.
That's not what's depressing me though. And unlike what my future holds, I saw that coming last year.
And maybe one day
I'll learn how to take
a decent photo of myself.
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One of my friends is flying up from Houston to take pictures of me this weekend. He took the pictures of me underwater in the bathtub wearing the wedding dress. He's our first guest here :)
I had a chat on Zivity two nights ago but very many people didn't show up. After that we stayed on Ustream.
We'll probably be on tonight or tomorrow night too.
A few designers including Creep Street sent us another big box of goodies. And because of a new opportunity I've become apart of I take pictures of myself with my phone or webcam much more often.
xoxo
youreverybeautiful.com
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Over the last five months I've been teaching myself how to build a website. Needless to say it's been a pretty humbling experience.
I'd like my site to be updated since it's looked the same for so long and I'm finally starting to do little tweaks to it and slowly figuring it all out so I can take care of "biznazz". You know, fix some of the links that have been broken for two years...that kind of thing.
I accidentally deleted a table from my member's homepage a couple of months ago during a "test" and figured out tonight how to replace it. So I'm feeling pretty freaking pumped right now. :)
A baby skunk and our backyard cat almost got in a sick fight tonight. The baby skunk was so cute! But everything else about the skunk was not cute. I'm glad it didn't do anything gross.
My YouTube tube socks made it in the mail today, and my elliptical made it a day early. I bring the gym to me, you heard?
word up from the camera in my phoooone
My journal entries need more color. Here I made this for you.
xoxo
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New set tonight on Apneatic.com!
Lori Earley wrote me today and told me she made the cover of Hi Fructose October issue and said one of my paintings is in her feature! I still can't believe I met her and was able to work with her this summer. *melt* I wish I could be in London for her show to see them in person.
I hope you all had a beautiful weekend :)
xoxo
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