THE RULES 
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XOXO, Apnea
A world of hurt 
I went into a time warp and didn't realize by Tuesday how long I had already been around Baltimore.

The fun started immediately at BWI when US Romance picked us up from the airport. He pulled over to the curbside behind a cop that stared at his car for a really long time while we loaded our luggage then turned his lights on, walked over and gave him a repair notice for his headlight being out. At least he didn't get a ticket for not having his license. When the cop asked him where it was he said, "I don't seem to have it, I must have left it in my work pants."

I couldn't do it out loud but I was laughing in my head because it reminded me of my friend that tried to buy cigarettes and alcohol underage and always tried to sound older by saying they left their ID in their work pants as if they worked at a factory and had already graduated high school and knocked up their prom date and settled into the small town 20 miles down the road from the farm I live at now and they were really old enough to buy that bottle of Night Train.

I seriously don't remember the first few days. I know this happened...



Jon Glessner did that to me. =0

Okay my memory is coming back to me. The first two nights we were there the house filled up with people so we retreated to the basement. There was also a very pleasant model that drove into town to shoot with Chase and we spent time with her.

While Chase was working I spent a couple of days with his sister. I love his sister and I had tons of fun with her!

Up to this point everything is fun and awesome, and I have a beautiful new chest, and I got my hair cut, and I had a slumber party with Brigette, and Chase and I were having awesome shoots and hanging out in hot tubs with hot ladies and then I went to DC.

The night before Karen and Kaitlin picked us up to take us to DC my friend gave me a little pill that was going to take all of my laser pain away. I didn't have a strong grasp on the strength of it and thought anytime in the past when someone told me to take a third of something I just ate the whole thing and felt awesome. Well I shouldn't have done that. In fact, I was so scared of the laser that I ate the whole thing and ate xanax on top of that.

Karen stopped at a red light in Georgetown and I jumped out of the car and ran over to Jinx Proof where this happened...



I made the picture smaller so I don't gross anyone out too much. I have lots of photos though. I kept sending them to my mom and she finally had to ask me to please stop because they were making her sad.

But it's funny now so let's talk about it :D So I'm at Jinx Proof and I meet Karl and the pills I ate were in full force. So all I remember was meeting a really tall guy that took me into a back room and put me in an excruciating amount of pain for fifteen minutes, then put me in emotional pain when he told me I have to wait a year to tattoo over the skin that's been lasered, then he let me go. I somehow made it across the street to a Dean and Deluca and bought three boxes of coconut water and the most expensive banana I've ever bought and nodded out behind the store like a crazy person with my banana. Then Karen and Kaitlin came and rescued me! We had fun together and ate ice cream cones and took the train over to Chase where he was getting tattooed then drove back to town and I decided I'm not going to take pain killers for any part of the healing process because my body is a mess and those things do me more harm than good.

I've had my arm lasered twice by two entirely different lasers. The laser in San Francisco I was told cost $18k and it just felt like getting a tattoo put on. It's not as powerful and it took the guy an hour to do it, but there's definitely good reasons to go that route. The DC laser was a $100k machine that has turned my arm into a monster. It's huge and covered in blisters and it still hurts. But now I only have to get it lasered one or two more times and the process is 15 minutes and everyone I know that went to this guy has had really good results. The only person I knew that lasered a sleeve off is dead so I can't talk to her about it. The day she died was a couple days before I got my arm lasered. errr =/ =(

Oh I have some advice! I would suggest not getting your chest tattooed and getting your sleeve lasered in the same week because for the rest of your Baltimore trip you'll feel like you're about to die. I would also suggest not being impulsive with tattoos when you make money off of your body and then have to turn down jobs for a year while you're undoing the damage you did.

I'm back on the farm! Today we cleaned out the chicken coop and I don't know what I did but I helped do something to the asparagus beds! I like doing farm chores and getting sun on my face and being back in a peaceful place with chickens and dogs and being hours away from an airport. Our next trip is to Philadelphia for Chase's first gallery show! May 02...mark your calendar!

xo

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